The Gadfly is a series of letters offering commentary on local issues and published in the Warrensburg Gazette.

The legislature is seriously considering allowing Southwest Missouri State University to drop the “Southwest.” Opposition from the folks in Columbia seems to have been overcome by a generous slathering from the pork barrel. This comes on the heels of the Northeast’s change to Truman State a few years ago and at the same time as Northwest is pursuing negotiations to actually become a part of the MU system. With all these changes, our local folks at CMSU don’t want to be left out of the name change sweepstakes. Indeed, the current name is misleading, since Warrensburg is a lot closer to the Kansas border than it is to the center of the state. That said, may I offer a few suggestions?

Let’s look at names that reflect the local area, such as Old Drum State U. Those who fondly remember the days of Dr. Lovinger probably would think it appropriate, since many of them undoubtedly believe the school has since gone to the dogs. Maybe Blackwater State U? I think that would be hard to swallow. Pertle Springs State U? I doubt if we want a university to be associated in any way with the Dummy Line.

Since none of those will work, what about something that reflects the nature of the school itself? Politically Correct State U wouldn’t distinguish it from its counterparts across the nation. Perhaps, in honor of its history, it could be called Normal State U? Those departments with technical missions would surely object, while punmakers would love it.

Actually, I have no real preference about any of this rush to change perfectly good school names. I do think it’s absolutely stupid to be doing so when the state is struggling to maintain education budgets and tuition has skyrocketed. If the legislature does pass any renaming bills, they should require that not one cent of taxpayer or student money be spent on any of the myriad of costs, such as designing new logos, changing stationery and parking signs, not to mention the sides of the campus cop cars. Legislators! Put this in the bill: any University can change its name to whatever it wants as long as it has raised $2million to pay for it - in private donations from alumni only.